My guide to happy trails

Years ago, a good friend of mine was embarking on a big backpacking trip. He asked if I had any tips for him. Initially I couldn't think of anything, but later I wrote him an email, and once I got started I realised there are dozens of well-known maxims that are bandied about by backpackers. Here is the list I sent him, no doubt there are many more that could be added to this:

My guide to happy trails


-avoid salad (it's usually been washed in dirty water)

-don't set off with a full pack (you'll acquire some things along the way -either souvenirs or specialised clothes)

-don't trust a stranger who speaks perfect english, especially if they are trying to take you to somewhere i.e. a 2nd location, not of your choosing

-use small bags inside your backpack to divide up the various groups of things in your pack

-time spent regularly organising your pack is never wasted time (you may have to leave in a hurry; especially if it's a lawless place)

-if you're carrying dollars, try to carry small denominations. Poor people rarely have change for a 50.

-if you get into trouble, don't panic, most likely they only want your cash

-smile

-never steal from backpackers or locals, they will probably detect the crime and retribution can be brutal

-remember, tourists naturally attract some of the worst people (conmen, thieves etc.). If you have a bad experience, don't damn everyone because of it, just make sure you find some genuine people.

-avoid arriving into a new town late in the day, and especially if it will be after dark. It's harder to get accommodation and with your pack you are a target for crime.

-Dehydration is the backpackers worst enemy. Between diaorrhea, unreliable water supplies and sweating, you will be constantly under threat of dehydration. This can cause sunburn, constipation, dizzyness and a host of nasties. It's the most common pitfall.

-Guidebooks can be a lifeline when you're stuck for accommodation/food etc., however, some people cling to them so closely that they rarely do anything that's not in the guide. Don't be afraid to go pot luck and find something of your own.

-Don't fall out with your companions (sometimes easier said than done). Cabin fever, heat and exhaustion can make anyone testy.

-If you do get sick, be careful about using anti-diaorrhoea pills. Too much and you can be corked up for a week. Moderate diaorrhoea is harmless enough, constipation can slow you to a crawl. Long bus journeys don't help either.

-If you're using a map in a dodgy neighbourhood, you can step into a doorway or some other relatively concealed spot. Standing in the middle of the street looking at a map is like lighting up 'lost and helpless' in neon lights on your head. Same goes for money.

-taximen are necessary, but don't let them take you somewhere you hadn't heard of before you got into the cab; it's probably their brother's shop where you'll have to buy all sorts of rubbish to get out again. Or it could be somewhere worse.

-Don't buy cheap stuff in your first week, unless you're prepared to carry it for the rest of the trip or else are posting it home.

-No matter where you are, there is always transport nearby, you just have to find it.

-If you get off a bus/train and are besieged with drivers offering to take you somewhere, you're in trouble. They probably have an ulterior motive for driving you. They definitely want to overcharge you. This is an impossible situation; if you work out how to deal with it tell me.

-Some of the best food you can eat is in places filled with locals. It's best if you can watch them fry it. You might get sick, but Western style food outside of the West is often improperly cooked rubbish. Locals can generally cook local dishes well.

-wash your hands before you eat. You are in contact with a lot of things your body has never seen before.

-fruit that you peel is generally safe (bananas, oranges)

-you are not alone. Thousands of backpackers have gone before you. They will swap information about places, pitfalls, travel arrangements, they are your best source of information. They are sometimes interesting too (varies).

-local alcohol is fun, but don't expect to taste anything tomorrow

-Some towns have only one method of transport out of them. They are generally small and nice, but consider if they are unsafe before you put yourself in a cul de sac. Also, make sure you won't have to wait 2 days to catch the next buffalo out of town.

-take a walk in the countryside at least once

-if a place smells like shit, it probably is. It may have an open sewer nearby, you're better off avoiding it if possible. Definitely don't eat there.

-a fan in a bedroom is a simple way to keep away flies (but it can dehydrate you). Opinions differ on air conditioning, although I believe it just prevents you acclimatising.

-incence, tiger balm and other smellies are one of the easiest ways to keep away flies.

-dogs are not the same when you are abroad. they are treated differently by society and they act differently in response.

-a small padlock can be handy in some hostels where you have a locker.

-hiking boots are really heavy. Unless you're going to use them a lot -don't bring them. A pair of light shoes and a pair of sandals is my favoured combination.

-books are heavy too. There will be opportunities to swap books with other people as you go, but be prepared to end up reading slushy romance novels about alien zombies.

-If you have a guide book for one country, you may be able to swap for one about the next country with someone going the opposite direction at the border.

-The most important word in any language is 'pardon'. Even if you can't say thank you to someone who helps you, it's more important to be able to apologise to someone you rub up the wrong way.

-Check ahead to see if there are any festivals or events happening close to your route.

-blogging or regular group emails are a simple way to tell your story to everyone as you go along. It's not for everyone, but it can save you having to recount your story a hundred times when you return.

-Take pictures for your friends to see.

-if you suspect are in trouble you will always have the option of leaving town. Never forget this, as it's often the best and simplest solution to a problem and in a panic you may overlook it.

-swimming is lovely but dangerous. Leaches, water-borne diseases, currents, concealed rocks. Of course you will go swimming, hopefully a lot, but be aware that you are responsible for your own safety, especially in big rivers with fast currents. Some people think that somehow water is less dangerous because they are abroad. I myself have had several near ones by thinking that because a sign or a passing local says it's safe to swim that that means it is totally safe. Water is never totally safe.

-If some backpacker acts as if they know it all, they know nothing (that goes double for me)


You'll probably break almost every one of these rules -and be right to do it in the circumstances. You've got to have a good time in spite of all these cautions.


Talk to fellow travellers. Backpackers are often (not always) very gentle souls with modest personalities and an openness to new things. Some of them have travelled extensively. They are typically good advisers with local knowledge. They have often learnt things the hard way, so talking with them means you can learn things the easy way. They will know the problems you will face much better than anyone writing in abstract can.


Happy Trails